Last Refuge at Holy Shrine

[ Awkharin char-eh ]

As a curious kid, I tried to understand the problems of married women and why they went to Emamzadeh (a holy shrine to a descendant of a prophet) to resolve their problems. Being a child, I could eavesdrop carefully. I found that their problems were made mostly by competing women. Indeed, women often were working to keep each other oppressed. Mother- and sister-in-laws were trouble makers. The only hope that these women had was begging the spirit of an Imamzadeh (descendants of the original 12 Shia muslims) to resolve the problems.

I could not understand why the mother-in-law used her power this way. Also, I could not reason why a sister-in-law would create conflict between her brother and his wife. As an adult woman, I understand the pressure of the demanding mother-in-law. She was expected to be perfect by her own mother-in-law. She continued those expectations and contempt using verbal abuse and humiliation to control her own daughter-in-law. Meanwhile the husband was confused what to do. How could he honor his mother and his sisters while protecting his wife?

In addition to this, adultery was very commonplace. In a polygamous society, adultery is legal and can be a sign of masculinity and vigor. But it is almost always hurtful and embarrassing to the wife. Iranian women had no way to resolve these problems. Life became stressful and this led to depression. Divorce was not beneficial for women legally or socially. She was treated as damaged and inferior. She would hide the problems —- not confronting the husband.

If I ever questioned the power of Imamzadeh, it would upset many adults. They expected me to just believe. However my father also questioned these practices. I think there were about 2000 Emamzadehs in Iran. Many stories told of how they all performed miracles, resolved problems, and healed diseases. Iranians respectfully supported them and their mortal remains became monuments.

No one saw psychologists. There were lots of stereotypes about visiting a psychologist and the mother-in-law would be the first would ridicule it. Prayer was the last refuge for a woman hoping for her husband to stop his adultery or to stand up for her against the mother- and sister-in-laws. They prayed while they were crying, “Save my life and my children.” “Save my dignity and reputation.” “I am hopeless and helpless, please help me and my children.”

آخرین چاره

[ لَست رِفیوج ]

به عنوان یک کودک کنجکاو همیشه تلاش می کردم گرفتاریهای زنان شوهر دار و اینکه چرا‌آنها برای حل مشکلاتشان به امامزاده ها می روند (یک مکان مقدّس و مدفن یک بازمانده از پیامبر)را درک کنم. در کودکی با گوش دادن دزدکی به حرفهای آنان به این نکته پی بردم که مشکلات آنها معمولاً در ارتباط با بر خورد ها و رقابت ها با زنان دیگر است. در این مورد اکثراً مادر شوهرها و خواهرشوهرهامشکل آفرینان اصلی برای زنان شوهردار بودند. تنها امید برای این زنان رفتن به یک اِمازاده و التماس برای حل مشکلات آنها بود. (امزاده هابازماندگان دوازده امام اصلی شیعه هستند.)

درک مشکل این زنان برای من که یک کودک بودم آسان نبود. من نمیتوانستم این نکته را بفهمم که چرا مادر شوهر نیروی خود را بر علیه عروس بیچاره به کار میگیرد و چگونه یک خواهر شوهرراضی می شود روابط میان برادرش و همسر او دچار اشکال شود. حالا به عنوان یک زن ریشه های فشار از سوی مادر شوهر را درک می کنم. او انتظار داشت که عروشس یک انسان کامل و بی عیب باشد. او برای کنترل عروس از هیچگونه فشار روحی و زخم زبان خودداری نمی کرد. در این میان شوهر بیچاره سرگردان مانده بود که چگونه از سوئی احترام مادر و خواهرش را حفظ کند و از سوی دیگر حامی همسرش باشد.

گذشته از این، داشتن روابط نامشروع با زنان دیگر نیز یک مشکل بزرک بود. در جامعه ای که چند همسری در آن رواج دارد، رابطه نا مشروع معمولاً نادیده گرفته می شد و حتی میتوانست نشانه ای از نیروی مردانگی باشد. امّا به هر حال این همسر بود که در این میان بشدّت آسیب پذیر بود. زندگی بر او سخت می شد و نتیجه اش بروز  افسردگی بود. طلاق نه از لحاظ مالی و نه اجتماعی برای زن مشکل گشا بود زیرا مکان و شخصیّت اجتماعی او را تنرّل می داد. بنا بر این تنها چاره، پنهان کردن مشکل و خودداری از رویارویی با همسر بود.

من هر وقت تلاش می کردم در مورد قد رت این امامزاده ها سوال کنم، با ناراحتی و عدم رضایت بزرگتر هارو برو می شدم. آنها انتظار داشتند که من بدون چون و چرا همه چیز را باور کنم. البتّه پدرم هم در این مورد با من موافق بود. گمان میکنم در ایران حدود ۲۰۰۰ امامزاده وجود داشت. روایات فراوانی در مورد معجزات آنها و حل مشکلات مردم و قدرت شفا بخش بیماران در میان مردم وجود داشت. این امامزاده ها مورد احترام بودند قبرهای آنها بصورت بناهای با شکوه در می آمد. به باور مردم آنها فرشتگان خداوند بشمار می آمدند.

در ایران مراجعه به روانشناس از نظر اجتماعی پذیرفته نبود و در این مورد تعصّبات و پیشه آوری های غلطی وجود داشت. مسلماً مادر شوهر اولین کسی بود که می توانست از این باورهای اشتباه در جهت تحقیر و توهین به عروس سوء استفاده کند. بنابراین دعا و نیایش آخرین چاره یک زن بود تا شاید شوهرش دست از روابط نا مشروع خود بردارد و در نزاع میان او و مادر شوهر و خواهر شوهرش پشتیبان او باشد. من هنوز هم کلماتی را که این زنان در زیارتگاهها اشک ریزان به زبان می آوردند بیاد می آورم. «زندگی من و بچه هایم را حفظ کن»، «شرافت و آبروی مرا نگهدار»، «من نا امید و درمانده ام، من و کودکانم را یاری کن».

Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.
Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.

Women were begging the Imamzadeh while they were crying and grabbing the silver filigree walls around the grave.

زنان در حالی که پنجره های ضریح را گرفته بودندالتماس کنان گریه میکردند.

Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.
Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.

A clergyman was usually there to answer people’s questions. Also he gave some religious advice to the people to resolve their problems.

معمولاٌ یک روحانی در امامزاده حضورداشت تا به سواُلات مردم پاسخ دهد. برای حل مشکلات، راه حلهای دینی و مذهبی را پیشنهاد میکرد.

Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.
Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.

Not only women but also young students begged the Imamzadeh to help them to graduation.

نه فقط زنان بلکه شاگردان پسر هم برای موفقیّت در امتحانان التماس دعا داشتند.

Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.
Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.

There were many books available for praying.

کتابهای متعددی (کتاب دعا) برای دعا  خواندن در دسترس بود.

Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.
Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.

The beautiful highlight of these holy places were the crystal chandeliers. Most of them were donated by the people who felt healed by the Imamzadeh.

زیبائی این مکانهای مقدٌس نور و شفّافیّت لوسترهای کریستالی بود که توسّط مردم شفا داده هدیه شده بود.

Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.
Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.

Lighting candles was very common among depressed women and they believed that it helped to fulfill their wish.

روشن کردن شمع بسیار معمول بود و زنانی که دچار افسردگی بودند معتقد بودند که این کار به رسیدن آرزوهایشان کمک میکند.

Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.
Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.

Iranian’s loved decorating the holy places with all kinds of flowers.

ایرانیان علاقمندند که مکانهای مقدّس را با انواع گلها تزیین کنند.

Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.
Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.

There were many books available for praying.

کتابهای متعددی (کتاب دعا) برای دعا کردن در دسترس بود.

Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.
Worshipers at the imamzadeh / emamzadeh shrine depicted in a diorama by Niccu Tafarrodi, recalling her childhood memories of Shiraz, Iran, RememberingPersia.com.

Calligraphy  was a very prestigious way to respectfully decorate an Emamzadeh. It also helped people to have access to the Quran verses.

خوش نویسی روش با ارزشی بود برای تزیین کردن امامزاده.  هم چنین  وسیله ای بود برای دسترسی  مردم به سوره های قرآن.  

Niccu Tafarrodi Avatar

Other dioramas in the category of Hardship & Class Struggle in Iran

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.